Young Apprentice: week seven

Ivana Trump once said: “It is what it is,” - words of wisdom indeed. It was a pity the candidates failed to recall this concept for the penultimate week of the Young Apprentice. As Lord Sugar arrived, uninvited to the teenagers’ pad, it was announced that they would be designing and marketing their own brands of popcorn.

Karren Brady, Lord Sugar, Nick Hewer

The teens stared into empty space with looks of entire bewilderment upon their faces, as they struggled to comprehend how they could reinvent the popcorn industry. That and the fact it was announced that this week all members of the losing team would be fired, and a further member of the winning team too.

In terms of teams, it was the first time Lord Sugar dared to both Harry M with Harry H, so if you get confused at any point when reading this, please don’t blame me! Despite having the same names, it appears this is all they have in common as a prolonged disagreement over the naming of their product pursued. Harry H was set on “empire state”- a name that connotes quality and luxury, whereas at the other end of the spectrum Harry M wanted “smoochies”- it appears his cinematic desires were brought into the workplace.

In some ways I pity for him, purely because he fails to understand how any normal human beings behave. Maybe I’m being unreasonable, but I’m pretty sure it isn’t customary to walk around with a packet of “smoochies”.  I was hoping he would improve this week and amaze us all…but no. Finally, PM Harry H resolved that “Empire State” America would be the theme, and their final product was actually quite impressive.

Meanwhile, the other team opted for a Mediterranean theme that included olive and chorizo flavoured popcorn, with a healthy slant. It was originally and authentically named “La Popcorn”. Judging by James’ face upon arrival of their packet, the name was as poor as the design. Unfortunately for viewers it gets worse as James actually admitted that “it tastes dreadful” and may I mention that the retailers that offered the team 100,000 orders failed to taste the popcorn (coincidence? I think not).

Graceful Zara stepped to the floor for the pitch and sold the product very well, labelling it “a match made in heaven”, could she be any further from the truth? After listening to the gagging and wretching sounds of the candidates as they sampled their popcorn, I couldn’t help thinking that there is a definitive reason why the popcorn market is limited to salt and sweet…

The boardroom session was melancholic as the candidates knew a team would be leaving immediately. Once again, Harry M lost and Lord Sugar labelled him the most “unlucky person to ever be in this boardroom” and I couldn’t help but feel relieved he was leaving because I no longer have to fret about what disaster he’d cause next week, but I’m sure I’ll miss his classical moments. As Lizzie and Harry H were fired, Lord Sugar failed to say the words “you’re fired” and for the first time we were able to glimpse a sign of emotion wedged somewhere within the heart of Lord Sugar.

This was only the beginning of the fight for Zara, James and Haya. After much talk, huge amounts of excitement and minimal levels of confrontation, Haya was fired and walked away graciously.

So, the final awaits James and Zara who will have to design and pitch a video game. Until next week…