Get the David Beckham look

David Beckham, looking gorgeous as usual

We need to be honest: in most women’s eyes (and in a lot of men’s too) you can’t.

It’s just not possible. How could anyone compare to the guy who ticks every box from perfectly chiselled model and hunk of a family man, to footballer of the century? Not to mention his charity work, adorable kids and ability to look good in a skirt (sorry, sarong)?

Golden Balls has even upped the ante with those unbelievable H&M adverts, released this week to promote his new range of underwear, (cue a dangerous leap in heart rates across the country).

The man really can do no wrong.

But if you’re still committed to bagging your own bit of Beckham magic, here’s what to do:

1. Stock up on white T-Shirts – the star allegedly only wears his white tees once before giving them to charity

2. Learn to pass like a God – i.e. start taking that Sunday afternoon kick-about a little more seriously

3. Get fully inked – head to your local tattooist and ask for sleeves and an angel down your spine, then put on your brave face once the needle starts buzzing...

4. Upgrade your girlfriend to a ‘posh’ stick insect – but one with a sense of humour; Victoria is actually quite a laugh

5. Tone up those abs – hit the gym and hit it hard if you really want a body worth putting on a billboard

6. Show off your whole (ahem) package AKA create your own clothing/underwear/perfume brand – once 5. has been achieved, obviously

7. Get to know your hairdresser – very, very well

8. Invest in some crinkly eye surgery – or get smiling, who doesn’t want swoon-worthy laughter lines like that?

9. Buy the perfect tux – we’re convinced Becks would be an incredible Bond

10. Move to America but occasionally hint to friends/family/the media that you’re heading home, or at least to Paris…